Ok, so I've avoided discussing this whole Lance Armstrong comeback thing, just because I wanted to see how it played out first. We're not at a resolution yet, but enough has leaked out that we can get a firm picture of what's going on. First, to introduce our players:

- Lance Armstrong: Self-important asshat who thinks he's so special that he can cure cancer by riding a bike.

- Team Astana: Kazakh-financed, Belgian-based cycling team that was banned from the 2008 Tour de France after failing doping tests the year before (not the whole team, just its best rider).

- Johan Bruyneel: Former director-sportif of Team Discovery Channel, Lance Armstrong's bff, and current DS of Team Astana.

- Alberto Contador: Current team leader of Astana, and possibly the best rider in the world today. Current title holder of the Giro d'Italia and the Vuelta a Espana, and the 2007 Tour de France champion. Only the fifth cyclist ever to win all three Grand Tours, and he did it in 14 months, a record for the shortest amount of time. Probably would have won the 08 TdF if his team was allowed to participate.

So this is what has gone down so far:

- Armstrong: I'm going to come back to professional cycling to win an 8th Tour de France and help cure cancer.

- Bruyneel: I would love to work with Lance again.

- Astana: We would love to have Lance join our team and be its leader in a Tour de France.

- Contador: Hey, guys? What about me? You know, I'm kind of like the best rider in the world, right? I'm this team's leader, if you bring in Lance, I'm going to quit.

- Bruyneel and Astana: We would love to have Lance win a TdF with our team.

- Contador: Fuck this, I'm out of here.

So let's get this straight. Astana is willing to lose the best rider in the world (I don't think you can really debate that title) to take in a 37 year old retired champion, who may not even ride with them past one year. On top of that, last time I checked, Astana is still suspended from the Tour de France. Let's be frank, the French hate Armstrong, and Bruyneel for that matter, wouldn't it be just perfect if Astana loses its best rider to sign Armstrong, then the French authorities don't allow them to race the TdF? It would be too much like right.

On a positive note, is there anybody looking for a team leader out there? We have a Contador for sale.